Scientology Lies

The dreamy Italian wedding supposedly taking place in under a week between Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes will see the Mission: Impossible star provide the bride with a 'comb' and a 'cat' during their scientologist marriage service.

The traditional Scientology ceremony set to take place next weekend (17-19 Nov 06), will see the minister tell the bridegroom, "Now, Tom, girls need clothes and food and tender happiness and frills, a pan, a comb, perhaps a cat. All caprice if you will, but still they need them."

Meanwhile, 27-year-old, Katie will be warned during the ceremony that she must keep 44-year-old Tom content, though life can be filled with "fret and pain".

"Hear well, sweet Katie, for promise binds. Young men are free and may forget. Remind him then that you may have necessities and follies, too."

There are also certain other fundamental distinctions that set the rites apart from other religion, reports the New York Times.

For example, during the ceremony, when the bridegroom promises to "keep her, well or ill," he is also asked, "And when she's older, do you then keep her still?"

The Scientology minister tells the bride, "Know that life is stark and often somewhat grim, and tiredness and fret and pain and sickness do beget a state of mind where spring romance is far away and dead."

Similarly the bridegroom is told, "The tides of fortune and of life are sometimes fair or grim." He should not leave his wife in search of solutions, and the minister says, "Take thy own even though they sleep beneath foul straw and eat thin bread and walk on pavement less than kind."

On being asked why such depressing prospects are mixed with the joy of weddings Rev. John Carmichael, the president of the Church of Scientology of New York said, "We do this strictly in the context of being able to do something about it. Scientology has workable solutions to life's problems. It is designed with tools people can use to help themselves and others."